"From Time Flies......"Boyohboy, am I thirsty," I said. "You know what I could really go for, with all this talk about high school?"B.J. kept her eyes on the road. "A tattoo?"I waited a beat to let the suspense build. "A Tab.""Tab!" B.J. let out a loud scream, completely drowning out the Raomes, who were busy singing "I Wanna Be Sedated."I Smiled."Tab," B.J. whispered. "I lived on Tab. I had my first one of the day for breakfast and brought one into my bedroom with me at night. All chemicals, no calories. And if you added a slice of lemon, it was practically a meal in itself. "I didn't say anything."B.J. launched into full rant. "Why the hell did everyone have to get so healthy? I can understand not smoking and using condoms and eating dark chocolate and switching from white to red wine. But what in the name of all that's retro is so wrong with having a simple Tab every now and then? I don't know about you, but I am so seltzered out."She turned to look at me. "Do you think they still make it? I haven't been in the soda aisle for years." "I'm pretty sure," I said, even though I had absolutely no idea. It was the quest for Tab I was going for here, not the actual Tab...........Ten minutes later we were loading four cases of Tab into the trunk of the Mustang."Can you believe how expensive this stuff was?" B.J. said. "Who knew it was a collector's item. I think we seriously lucked out to even find it. ......."And now we need to head straight to Veronica's house so we can get some on ice right away."B.J. ducked under my hand and freed two Tabs from their plastic collars."Surely you jest," she said as she handed one to me. "Warm Tab is the only way to go."
These gals were on their way to their high school reunion. As for me, I didn't become a Tab drinker until I was in my twenties. By then I had a child and one on the way. When I worked at the radio station at Northwest, my new friend D'Layne and I would take a break every day, between classes for her and between shifts for me, and drink a Tab and solve the problems of the day. You really had to develop a taste for it. That happened fast for us. When I realized I was pregnant, I tried really hard not to drink Tab, but must admit that I did get in about one a day. I think you turned out okay, don't you Hayley?
When the babies were little, it was really the drink of choice. It tasted so bad to them they would not beg for what I was drinking and drool baby drool and recycled crackers in my drink! They say that I put Tab in their bottles, but that is not true. I did give them a Coke or two when they were sick with an upset stomach—not a regular thing, you understand.
My friend Rita was and is still a dedicated Tab drinker. We shared Tabs and talked while our babies ran around our feet. The same no slobber strategy held true for her.
Now, Sylvia is still a Tab guzzler. She can load a church bus full of kids or senior active members, put a six pack of Tab by her feet, and drive for hours and hours.
In 1982 when Diet Coke was released, I switched alternately between my old friend Tab and DC. I must admit now to being a dedicated Diet Coke drinker. But when I stumble on a convenience store with icy cold Tabs, I grab one and go back in time to 1979. My hair is long, Donna Summer is singing "Hot Stuff," Fleetwood Mac is crooning "Sara," life is before me with only one little boy at my feet, and I can't wait for a Tab to share with my friends. Thanks Claire for this little time capsule.